Good things rarely come easy

Alright, listen up. So, for the past few months, it's been full-time work, social events galore, and marketing madness. Part-time turned forty hour work week at the same company. On top of that, throw in a personal life dumpster fire, and let me tell you, by 5 pm I was toast. Like, scrolling mindlessly on the sofa, questioning every life choice kind of toast. Weekends? Forget it. I had to physically drag myself out the door.

But two months in, things are slowly getting better. Sure, there are still full-on Netflix binges (which, FYI, are absolutely valid). This isn't your "five easy steps to conquering stress" handbook. It's more like a "why sometimes you gotta see it through" pep talk. See, there was a moment, a big, fat moment of "should I just quit?" But then I weighed things out. Turns out, more responsibility equals more stress - shocker, right? But the core of it? I actually liked my job and the people I worked with. So, I took a weekend away from the madness, and relaxed.

Here's the thing: quitting isn't a crime. Chronic stress, however, is a one-way ticket to burnout. My point? When life throws you curveballs, at work or elsewhere, take a step back. Weigh things out. Is this a temporary hurdle or a full-on roadblock? Newsflash: good stuff rarely comes easy. Even the dream job has its rough patches

That being said, listen to your gut. If the discomfort is like a weird, clingy ex that won't leave, then maybe it's time to make a change. You got this, boo. Just remember, a little perseverance goes a long way (with a generous side of self-care, ofc).

A sketch of the future

Expectations - they're like silent storytellers, weaving narratives in our minds about how things should unfold. Yet, do they solely lead us to disappointment, or is there more to their intricate role in our lives?

During a recent discussion with some friends, a lively debate arose on the subject. One of my friends said she felt let down that a recent movie had not met her expectations. This triggered a lively exchange of opposing views, each offering their own perspective on expectations and their impact.

The common belief that they are a one-way street to disappointment was a frequent thread running through the conversation. The idea was that the excitement for a certain outcome leaves us frustrated when reality deviates from it. Even if it turns out the way we had imagined, it doesn't trigger any feelings worth mentioning because we had already anticipated this outcome. Although I found the reasoning plausible, I disagreed with this view. I argued that expectations are not mere traps of disappointment; they are, in fact, our inner compasses guiding us through life’s twists and turns. However, it is not about completely erasing them, but understanding that they are fluid. Sure, unfulfilled hopes can dishearten us. Yet, having expectations doesn’t mean we’re indifferent when they come to realisation. It is not the prediction itself, but the way in which we chain ourselves to it that shapes our emotional reaction.

Our expectations cannot predict the future. They stem from our past experiences, painting a picture of what might come next, but never dictating it. They act as a sketch rather than a complete portrait, leaving space for reality to shape the remaining details. The beauty lies in the realization that our future is not predetermined; it is flexible, adaptable and open to surprises. What if we loosened our expectations and admired the beauty of the details we cannot foresee?

It’s not about discarding them; it’s about embracing their evolution. Sometimes, life doesn’t align with our anticipated script, but that doesn’t diminish its significance or value. Free yourself from rigid ideas of the future. Embrace the uncertainty, embrace the possibility that life might offer you something beyond your imagination. Isn't the magic of life precisely in its ability to amaze us?

It's time to redefine our relationship with expectations - not as limiting barriers, but as companions on our journey through life's unpredictable trajectory.

Party conversations

"In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." - Mean Girls

After looking for fake snakes or anything resembling a Dalmatian for either a Medusa costume or to stage Cruella, I gave up and bought a pirate hat. Surprisingly, I liked how the pirate costume ended up looking.

I prefer house parties to clubs because you can actually meet new people and have a conversation. Conversations with strangers late at night are the interesting ones as they remind you that there are so many people outside of your own bubble.

I enjoyed the conversation with Ben the most because we had seemingly so little in common, but after five minutes we were talking about matters that only close friends talk about. Ben had recently gone through a breakup and was visiting a friend from out of town. His girlfriend, who he had been dating for a year, had decided she couldn't bear the long distance and called it quits. Although this happened only a fortnight ago, Ben appeared to have reached the stage of acceptance, the key word here being 'appeared'. I don't think he was over the relationship that quickly, especially if the reason for the break-up was, as he put it, "just down to distance". I talked to Ben as if he were a friend, even though I estimated him to be five years older than he actually was. The conversation felt comforting. I told him about my troubles and he listened attentively. We shared our truths and ended the conversation by introducing ourselves.

Not every conversation with a stranger goes like this, there are plenty of people who hold back, justifiably so. However, it is so liberating to confide in someone and get to know them while discussing meaningful topics. Whereas it can be so draining to have a conversation that consists only of small talk and meaningless topics. Therefore my appeal is to have more conversations of this kind and don't be afraid to confide in others, and make others feel they can also confide in you, you never know how much someone might need it.

Me and Ben didn't exchange phone numbers or any social media links, we just said our farewells. Hopefully, he and his girlfriend will be able to make it work.