My 20th Birthday

A couple of weeks ago, I turned 20 years old. Unfortunately, I was not able to celebrate my birthday at home with my friends and family as I had to make preparations for university in a different city.

As my birthday approached, I decided not to spend the day at home, but to take a trip to a neighboring city. Conveniently, Amsterdam is only two hours away from my apartment, so I looked for museums and other activities to do in Amsterdam, but couldn't quite commit to the trip. I knew my parents would suggest that I should return home rather than go to another city, but for some reason, I was drawn to the idea of traveling alone for the first time.

I have never traveled alone before mainly because I found it hard to imagine traveling alone, dining alone, or doing all sorts of activities all by myself. Nevertheless, I realized that I have never been able to fully enjoy a trip as I tend to have a rather particular idea of what a holiday should be like. I am very fond of museums and taking photos, shopping for hours, and exploring the city during a lengthy walk. It is possible to do these things with a friend or a parent, but these activities feel entirely different when you are alone with your thoughts. You have the freedom to rediscover yourself in this strange city where no one even knows your name.

Despite it being the morning of my birthday, I had still not abandoned the idea of going to Amsterdam, but I found myself hesitating. I took my time getting ready, and by the time I finally decided to make a reservation for the museum I wanted to go to (Moco Museum Amsterdam), it was already past 2 pm. I didn't let that discourage me. I was determined to celebrate my birthday especially.

On every previous birthday, I had high expectations of others to make my birthday memorable, and if they didn't live up to those expectations, I would feel a sense of disappointment. I am honestly embarrassed to admit this. However, I have always considered birthdays as the ending of a chapter, of course, I preferred it when a chapter concludes with something special. This time, it was up to me to figure out how I wanted to spend the day.

I choose a great adventure.

To be honest, it was the first time that I consciously chose happiness and joy rather than indulging in my sadness. I took the initiative and went on a trip without telling anyone. Even while I was there, I received calls from friends and relatives congratulating me and wondering how I had spent my day, and I simply told them I went out.

I had a blast at the museum and it was the brightest day in Amsterdam, the sun was shining, people were sunbathing in the park near the museum reading books, talking, listening to music surrounded by museums and libraries. Plus, there was a shopping district very close by. I arrived quite late, and by the time I left the museum, the shops had already closed. I strolled around the city until my phone died and I had to figure out the way back to my car.

As I drove back, I realized that I hadn't given any thought to who hadn't congratulated me, who was missing, and how I expected to spend the day, because I felt I didn't need anyone to make me feel content at that moment. I was so immersed in all these novel things as well as the rush of doing something I had never done before to the point that I didn't have time to feel lonely, sad, or disappointed - all the feelings I knew too well.

All this taught me a powerful lesson that I imagine the vast majority of people who are content in life have already grasped.

Here’s what I've learned

At the end of the day, you don't need anyone to make your life worth living. That there's no point in waiting for happiness, adventure, and joy to come to you because they won't until you take the initiative yourself. If you want to have a memorable day, go out and make it a memorable day yourself. You alone are responsible for your happiness.

Up to this day, no one knows that I spent my birthday in Amsterdam.