Freshers' week
The first week at university, also known as freshers' week, has now come to an end. It has already been a few days to look back on.
Due to Corona, I wasn't able to meet a lot of new people. I was studying architecture from the comfort of my home and had hardly any contact with my family and friends.
However, since I changed my major to Business Administration, I had the opportunity to attend Freshers' Week again, this time with fewer Corona restrictions as most students are vaccinated. Freshers' week is dedicated to meeting people and exploring the city, it mainly consists of parties and casual events.
Getting to know lots of new people in one week was an unfamiliar setting for me. Apparently, it's not like riding a bike, you can indeed forget how to do it. Looking back, I can't assess my behavior at the time, only how strange and awkward I felt, while interacting with people for the first time, whether it's a conversation about where they're from or why they chose their major, always felt odd; it doesn't come naturally to me how I should behave in those situations. I've always struggled when getting to know new people simply because I don't enjoy superficial exchanges. Needless to say, those are the only conversations you have with someone you've just met.
The reason I don't appreciate talking about shallow topics is that I can't be myself. Although I'm not particularly shy, it's tiring not to be able to discuss the matters that interest me as well as constantly struggling to find a new topic of conversation, regardless of whether you're genuinely interested in it. Truthfully, it seems as if I'm only talking to avoid the deafening silence that occurs between people who don't know each other that well.
There's a girl in my group, and while we were at an event yesterday, I kept suggesting that we leave, but even though she was visibly bored half the time, she didn't want to leave and even ended up staying after I left. I admire that because she isn't easily discouraged by a moment of silence or awkwardness, she knows those moments will pass and amusing moments will follow.
To me, finding interest in other people is difficult. As I was talking to people at these events, I noticed that I didn't care where they were from or why they chose that particular major, notably, I didn't feel that this interaction would hold any significance in the future, knowing that I wouldn't become close friends with the vast majority of these people.
By no means is that meant to be condescending, everyone was friendly and I had a good time, but I didn't feel as though I connected with most of them. Talking to someone you feel a bond with is entirely different than chatting with someone you don't feel a bond with. Speaking to people you feel an instant connection to feels easy, it's not mentally draining, and you could imagine doing it indefinitely. Even conversations about superficial matters lead to more engaging issues and you begin to open up.
Quite the opposite is the case after meeting someone you don't feel any bond with. It always leaves you, or at least me, with a feeling that can perhaps best be described as a disappointment. Disappointed because every time I encounter somebody new, I anticipate a connection right away, but when that's not the case, it leaves me feeling gutted. Thus, making it pointless to stay at these gatherings.
Nevertheless, I forced myself to stay as long as I could. Until everything I had to say was said and I met a handful of new people. By the time I got back home, I felt proud of myself for having learned a valuable lesson.
Here's what I learned
Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy, and you will feel a lot of resistance. Every fiber of your body will try to return to the comfort of your old environment, but that's what you must escape from to grow.
Granted, admitting that I had to force myself to stay at a social event may sound strange at first, but that's precisely what happened: I had to force myself to remain in that setting precisely because it was out of my comfort zone. I will continue to do so.
After all, it's just a matter of practice: the more I go out and meet new people, the easier it will become. Even if the first 100 times may feel awkward, disappointing, and strange, I have to push through it. Only then will I be able to grow and expand my horizons.