“Love yourself first”
“Learn to love yourself first before you fall in love with someone else.”
I've heard this phrase several times, but I didn't grasp the true meaning of it until now. Particularly why it has been emphasised that this is critical before you start a relationship.
You keep thinking about them and you can't stop glancing your phone, waiting for them to text or call you. You are disappointed once you're apart, because you would love to spend every second of your day with them.
If you can relate to this kind of behaviour towards someone you are seeing, it is not a sign of being in love, nor is it something that is common at the beginning of a relationship, but it is a great indicator that you are lacking something in your own life. The new partner has brought excitement into your life, you finally feel exhilarated again. You don't want to be apart from them, because then you might lose that feeling. So far you have not felt this happiness within yourself, so you are looking for these feelings externally. Doing so is extremely dangerous because your mood becomes dependent on that person.
When we are advised to love ourselves first, people often neglect to explain why that is significant. When we first start dating, the beginning is usually filled with joy and excitement. Naturally, a lot of people cherish this excitement and want to spend more time with their potential partner. However, those who have been unhappy in their lives run the risk of trading the excitement and joy that a new partnership brings for losing themselves in it. They begin to schedule their entire life around this relationship and disregard their own priorities. It is crucial that your life is equally fulfilling with and without a partner. Your new partner should not even be able to take control of your mind and therefore your life because you have built a life that brings you pleasure and fulfilment. Your partner should not be the sole reason for your happiness, but rather contribute to it. And if that is not the case, you should consider this a great warning sign and take appropriate steps to learn to love your life and yourself.
Only when we have begun to truly love ourselves can we build meaningful relationships, because then we have established a standard by which we want to be loved. For we know what we deserve. Moreover, we realise that we would rather be alone than in bad company. The only constant is your own company. Ensure that you thoroughly enjoy that company, and if you haven't yet figured out how to do that, it's about time you start. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship in your life - don't neglect to nurture it.